Last week on Wise Hearted Wednesday, I revealed that I had been feeling anxious. Anxiety is my old companion. I’ve been experiencing bouts of anxiety since childhood.
“Map Of Childhood”
I’ve received a lot of email responses in the past few days! My dears, I am sorry, but not surprised, that so many of you experience anxiety, too.
In the spirit of practical support aka loving-in-action!, let’s talk about healthy forms of self-soothing.
Self-soothing is part of finding a middle ground, a gray area, between being detached or numb and experiencing an emotional crisis or upheaval. . . . Soothing yourself helps you tolerate the experience without acting in ways that are not helpful in the long run, or blocking the emotions, which makes the emotions grow larger or come out in ways you didn’t intend. (PsychCentral, April 4, 2012)
Simply put, self-soothing activities help us to calm down during or after experiencing stress. Not all self-soothing activities are healthy. Unhealthy forms of self-soothing include excessive shopping or gambling, drug use and binging on food, alcohol or television.
(You might think it’s inappropriate for me to joke now, but this is how my quirky humor sounds inside my head. . . . How many episodes of Outlander are humanly possible in one sitting??? Do you think Claire misses BBQ potato chips??? I’ll eat enough for both of us!!!)
Learning and practicing healthy forms of self-soothing are especially important for sensitive folks. For many of us, this does not come naturally. We must consciously choose to learn and take these actions.
What is comforting for one person may be different for another. Find ways that work for you! This may mean experimenting. What a worthwhile exploration! I encourage my clients to frame this as Sacred Play.
Below are 7 of my own favorite healthy ways to self-soothe.
- Conscious Breathing. Taking slow deep breaths. Feeling the subtle sensations of inhaling and exhaling.
- Artistic Self Expression. Drawing or dancing the stress, emotions, physical sensations, Inner Critic–whatever is most alive in the moment.
- Caring Touch. Placing hands on solar plexus, chest or belly. Massaging face, neck or feet.
- Caring Self Talk. Speaking to yourself with reassuring affirmative words. “It’s ok to feel anxious. This is really big for you. You’re doing great.”
- Share With A Trusted Friend. Expressing authentically with a caring friend who listens well.
- Spiritual Connection. Focusing on the Bigger Picture or on Life Purpose. Praying or meditating.
- Wild Wisdom. Communing in/with/as wild nature.
And, of course, #8 is Humor. Joking in a playful way–not in a mean or sarcastic way. With a trusted friend or with yourself.
(One day I hope to perform a comedy of what goes on inside my head. It’s way more entertaining than any Outlander episode.)
How about you? What’s your go-to form of self-soothing? Is it healthy for you or unhealthy?
Maybe one my favorites will be helpful for you. I hope so!
Let me know if I can support you.
from my sensitive heart to yours,
